Viewing my body as God's temple

by Payson

In my life, I've always been the "messed up" friend. The friend who cut herself. The friend who starved herself. The friend who attempted suicide. I've never really known what it was like until just recently.

A very close friend of mine threatened to kill herself a few months back. I raced to her house to find her on the floor, blade in hand, ready to slice open her skin. Luckily, I made it in time, and she didn't go through with it. But let me tell you, that really opened my eyes. 

I had never realized what I put my friends through. I never realized how much pain that they went through for something that I did. I didn't know that it hurt THAT much. But it did. I sat in my friend's house and cried for hours, blaming myself for what she did. "Why didn't I notice it? I know all the signs. I should have been paying her more attention." These thoughts raced through my head, and it made me feel terrible for putting my best friends through this same thing. It will make me think twice when a thought like that ever crosses my mind again.

Also, very recently I found out that a very close friend of mine self harms. I've never been on this end of cutting before. When the text came saying, "Yes, I do," my heart dropped. How could someone so beautiful and so amazing do that to herself. I sat there and looked at the text for a good 10 minutes before responding. I didn't know what to say. I've never been in that situation before. 

I'm sure this is what my friends and family felt when I told them for the first time. Maybe you have felt this way. The best thing for you to do is to encourage them to tell their parents. Then to get professional help. But trust me, I know from experience that won't go over very well. Just be a friend to them. Remind them that you are ALWAYS there for them and that God is there, too. That's what got me through some of my bad days. 1 Corinthians 6:19 talks about your body being God's temple. God gave you that body. He doesn't want you harming it.

It's weird being on this end for once. But God put me through everything that I went through exactly for this reason. So that I can help people who are going though this. It has given me so much knowledge about these things. I have experience that helps me encourage others into recovery. Sometimes I regret going through what I did. But most times I couldn't be more grateful to God. He always knows exactly what He's doing. :)