Day 28: Is it gossip or isn't it?

Today's reading — Proverbs 16

What do you do when others gossip? I mean really, tell me what you do by commenting below. It might help another girl! 

I hate gossip. But it hasn't always been that way. In fact, it took me a long, long time to recover from this addiction. That's right, gossip can be ADDICTING! 

And exhilerating. Because finding someone who is equally aggrevated by someone's sinful behavior is like winning a scratch-off lottery ticket. Once you start scratching, you just want to keep buying them. We Christians like to call this type of gossip "venting" and dismiss it as healthy. It's like therapy, you know! 

But check out Proverbs 16: 28....

A perverse woman stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. 

My daughter read me an American Girl story on this subject not long ago. One girl in a dance class thinks another has stolen her prized locket. She confronts a mutual friend, who tries to talk her friend into having a discussion rather than accusing the girl. In many instances, she gets sucked into the gossip and doesn't stand up for the girl. Even she is in doubt of the truth with all the lies and gossip swirling around. Eventually the girl has to move to a new school because the one girl doesn't stop making her life miserable. In the end, the girl who was the confidante realizes that she might have picked the wrong girl to befriend when the other girl finds the locket in the bottom of her dance bag. 

Sometimes it's hard to avoid gossip. Other times, it's hard to discern what is and isn't gossip. Is some second-hand information OK to share with a friend you are trying to protect? Perhaps rumors that a boy who professes to be a Christian is really looking to take advantage of girls? If you share that information with a friend is it gossiping? 

I think it's important that no matter when or how we speak, we carefully contemplate our words and question our own motives. Are we looking to stir up dissension? Do we know that's the consequence? How would you feel if you were the person on the other end? 

{praying for discernment}
Amy

Day 27: Ever want to reel in your words?

Today's reading — Proverbs 15

I grew up hearing "Think before you speak." I don't remember if it was my mom or dad or grandma, church or school, but this was a mantra spoken over me as I matured. 

I'm sure it helped curbed my tongue a time or two. But what probably made a bigger difference was screwing up. Sticking my foot in my mouth, which — incidentally — I still do from time to time. It was embarrassing and made me feel less of a person that I would say something rude, gossip about a friend or not think about a person's feelings before I spoke. That icky feeling made me not only more regretful but also more cautious in the future. 

God has a saying, too. It's a little more lengthy but way more introspective. 

Verse 28: The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. 

That's right, when we just say things without thought, we are prone to sinning, to gushing evil. When we pause to think about what we're about to say, when we really ponder the words our tongue is forming and contemplate their consequences, we are acting with righteousness. 

When we do it, when we weigh our words, there are no icky feelings. It's just one way you can live more joyfully! I don't know about you, but happiness is what my heart desires. 


{thinking before I speak}
Amy

Day 26: Act out your anger

Today's reading — Proverbs 14

My morning devotion — delivered daily to my email in-box (you can sign up to have ours sent to your email, too!) was all about anger. Then I opened up Proverbs to our place today, and guess what? 

It seems today's theme is anger. 

So let's chat. What makes you mad? Bullying? Gossips? Peer pressure? Ungodly behavior among your friends? 

Anger....well, I don't necessarily think the emotion of anger is a bad one. It's what you do with it that can cause you to stumble and sin. 

Take a look at how it's discussed in Proverbs 14. 

From verse 16, it's clear that hotheaded and reckless behavior are considered foolish. But the wise fear the Lord and "shun evil."

Later, in verse 22, it says that if you plot evil you will go astray. So it's unwise to use your anger to do "bad things." 

But I believe you can take the anger and use it for good — developing a plan for love and faithfulness, also from verse 22. 

As I write this, it kind of reminds me of Mighty Strong Girls. It's pretty easy to get mad when you think about how girls are portrayed in the media as sexual objects, how they are shoved into a box with all the expectations and stereotypes for our gender, how they are second-class citizens. It's angering to learn about how prevalent female genital mutilation still is in most African nations. It's downright disgusting that many women are pressured to have abortions or even kill their newborn babies — simply because they are girls. 

Most people believe these facts justify a plan for evil against those who would commit such atrocities. But God. He says NO. He says make a plan that is written in love and faithfulness. 

So instead of attacking the enemy, Mighty Strong Girls is attacking the problem by offering a positive alternative. We aren't the only one. There are so many wonderful organizations doing great and awesome things out of love and faithfulness to help girls RISE UP!

My dear girls, you can do this with the anger in your lives, too, no matter the situation. Pray about it. Think about it. Don't be hotheaded and act out your anger with immediate hatred. Instead, take that energy and pour it into something positive. Be the change you want to see! 

{xoxo}
Amy

Day 25: God says pick good friends!

Today's reading — Proverbs 13

If you ever want to dissect what the Bible says about money matters, this would be a good starting point. Much of Proverbs 13 speaks to the heart of finances and wealth and poverty. 

But I'm going to focus today on one verse here that doesn't. Verse 20. 

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. 

Have you ever been frustrated by a parent who doesn't see eye-to-eye with you on the choice of one of your friends? Sometimes parents just have a "sixth sense" when it comes to bad, or even ungodly, influences. Parents just want the best for you. 

Guess what? Are you surprised to find out that God wants the best friends for you, too? Just because you are to love your neighbor doesn't mean you spend the bulk of your time with that person. 

You see, love is not so much an emotion but an act. So while you act in love toward everyone around you and minister to the unreached and the rejects of our world (serving), you walk with the wise. 

Maybe there is some overlap in these groups. Maybe not. 

You see, you become what you are influenced by — and that's why it is SO IMPORTANT not only to be grounded in the word of God but to stay connected with Him in prayer and communication, and to be on your faith walk with those who will help you grow wiser still. 

God doesn't want to see you hurt, and that's why He warns you that if you are friends with fools, harm will come your way. 

It's OK to be discerning in your friendships. God WANTS you to pick your friends. Find those pals who build you up, encourage you, speak honestly to you, challenge your faith as you challenge theirs, pray with you and bring out the best in you. 

When you do, you will be a powerhouse of leadership working toward a common goal in growing closer to God and determining your individual identities in Christ. That's one Mighty Strong Girl! 

{hugs}
Amy

Day 24: Is your tongue a tool for destruction or for hope?

Today's reading — Proverbs 12

Sometimes it feels so confusing when it comes to dealing with mean people or bullies. On the one hand, the Bible tells us to turn the other check and love our neighbor. But many of God's beloved prayed for their Lord to strike down their enemy — and He did. God also tells us to love ourselves, and some people who tear us down consistently are hard to be around because they challenge this very notion. 

What's a girl to do? 

From today's reading, verse 16 states: 

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent woman overlooks an insult. 

Mighty Strong Girls, that's what we call self-control. Practice it early and often. It's a gift, particularly when you join as one in marriage. Sharing a living space, bank account, schedule and children are all instances when it's not all about you. Learning to submit or control our selfish notions is a gift in relationships! 

So, at the heart of this verse is really the best advice my mom ever gave me: ignore them. Just ignore the bullies. It drives them crazy. They act because they are seeking a (your) reaction, and they are jealous. (Eventually they will give up on you if you continue to overlook insults, and in this way, God will strike down your enemy by removing her from your path.)

But please be careful that you are not on the delivering end of insults. Because you know what? Jealousy is not only ugly but it's rooted in fear. Jealousy is NOT from God. It's a sin that causes us to stumble in other ways — seeking approval from man, cursing God's name, plotting against others, coveting our neighbor's possessions. It's a slippery slope. 

Also, look just a couple verses down in verse 18: 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise bring healing. 

Just like the insults hurled at you hurt, so does your negative reaction. Your words can either tear down or build up, so choose them carefully — even as you overlook the words of fools. For, there is JOY for those who promote peace, as promised in verse 20. 

Today, use the tool between your teeth to build up. I love the devotion in my Bible that speaks of three-word groupings: I love you, You look great!, Good for you, I forgive you. Three words that can transform relationships and lives. 

Girls, GET WISDOM! 

{Hugs}
Amy

Day 23: Pause for a moment to ask yourself if you look like this pig

Today's reading — Proverbs 11

There are some verses in Proverbs that paint such a descriptive mental picture, they really make you stop to ponder the scene. 

Verse 12 is like that for me. 

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. 

My mind creates an image of a nasty, filthy, garbage-covered pig with a gorgeous, shiny ring in its snout. The contrast is striking and laughable and even, well, it's kind of sad. 

Why on earth would a pig, nasty by nature, have something so stunning, beautiful and expensive affixed to it? 

So it kind of makes you think....why would a woman, beautiful by (God's) design want something so disgusting, ugly and impure affixed to her? 

Girls, when abuse our bodies or allow others to use us and when we showcase our bodies in sinful ways — all without regard for who we were created to be on the inside, we are just like this pig. For some, beauty will only ever be skin-deep because she practices no discretion in life. She is like this pig. And she looks ridiculous. 

Our Designer and Creator breathed beauty into us. This beauty, it starts on the inside with the ingredients of our character and the choices we make, and it radiates to the exterior. It may not look like the world's version of beauty. But it doesn't matter. Because this beauty is pure and celebrated by our Maker. It makes Him smile. This is a beauty that NEVER looks ridiculous, and it's always in style!

{Hugs}
Amy

Day 22: Pressure your peers JOYfully

Today's reading — Proverbs 10

Perhaps at no other time in life is it harder to see and hear what a "herd" of people are doing and seek to do something different than in high school. Peer pressure can be intense, to say the least, in the adolescent years! 

But Mighty Strong Girls, it does not go away! Peer pressure exists at all ages, in all socio-economic situations and it all forms — blatant and sometimes subtle. We covet, we mimic, we behave badly ... all rooted in jealousy. 

There is absolutely nothing positive or redeeming about going along with a crowd that is self-indulgent or self-seeking. From one sermon I heard at Christmas time, JOY comes when we correctly set our priorities: Jesus first, others second, yourself last. 

From Proverbs 10, we learn that when we heed discipline — such as employing the JOY technique in our lives — it leads to life, from verse 17. This verse also says that when we ignore correction, we can lead others astray. 

This, my precious lovelies, is no different than peer pressure. More subtle perhaps, but it's the same thing with different packaging. 

Mind you, there is a form a peer pressure that works for the kingdom. In fact, positive peer influence is perhaps the greatest thing you can do for your generation. 

It doesn't mean that we flip open a book of religious law in front of others and point out the rules and where we are all going astray. It doesn't mean calling everyone out. 

What it means is gracefully living a life of discipline. Modeling by example JOY. Showing Christ to others through your actions. In this way, you will not only draw your fellow sisters in Christ closer to you, but you will also help them seek Him more when they see you live out your life in sync with His desires for you. This is the opposite of leading others astray!

And believe me when I say that when you can stand up to peer pressure now by being a living example of faith, it will become second nature to you as you grow more mature. Others will seek you out because you are a pleasure to be around. That kind of positive peer pressure is beautiful!

{xoxoxo}
Amy