Getting back to God

by Payson

                                      
     Remember me? 

     It's been a while hasn't it. I have a reason why I haven't been writing, but the more I think about it, the more stupid the reason seems. 

     I have been having a rough time in the past couple months. I didn't really know what to write about. I didn't really have anything inspiring to say. 

     But now that I think about it, that's a really stupid reason. Isn't that what this blog is about? Sharing my struggles to help others? So why not share?
     I have been really depressed lately. I really don't know what's causing it. That's leading to very bad self-hatred. Which leads to poor eating habits. That's all it takes for me to be back in my destructive habits. Skipping a meal here and there, purging after a big meal — nothing huge. Not compared to what I have done before. But I know that I shouldn't do it.
     I have been really thinking about it in the past few days, and I made a connection. A very huge connection. 

     I have recently been lacking in my faith walk. I've been walking away from God rather than toward Him like I should be doing. That's why I have been struggling. I know that's why! 

     When I read my bible daily, and talk to Him all the time, I don't feel depressed; I feel uplifted! Like I can take on the world! And I would really like to feel like that again.
     So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get a plan to read my bible daily. I'm going to write every day in my journal, and I'm going to pray. Pray A LOT. 

     So the big inspiring message for this blog post? DON'T STRAY FROM GOD. You probably hear that a lot, but trust me, it has some pretty scary consequences. 

     If your life isn't going as nice as you would like it, take it to God. Focus everything on Him, and I promise, things will start to look up.

Day 38: Do more than cover yourself with glitter

Today's reading — Proverbs 28-29

Have you ever hidden something? A habit? A sin? A past you wish you could run away from? It takes so much work, time and energy to cover up something. 

And sometimes there isn't enough glitter in the world to add the amount of sparkle it would take to cover up your pain, sadness, anger or hurt. 

What's a girl to do? 

In Proverbs 28, verse 13, it says: 

She who conceals her sins does not prosper, 
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. 

When you are ashamed of a past or find ugliness in your physical form or have an addiction that consumes you, the world is pointing its finger and laughing. It certainly feels that way, doesn't it? Our culture is so good at making you feel ashamed, guilting you into negative emotions and force-feeding lies about how you screwed up, are unworthy and have no value. Even when you are a good person who stumbled. Even when you know it was wrong. Even when the past is very, very distant. 

Our God isn't like that. It's true what they say, that the ground is even at the foot of the cross. All sins are equal, and God loves you so much that there's mercy for you NO MATTER WHAT! 

If you feel today, right now, like you just can't get ahead, it might be time for confession. God wants you to hand it over. And as I discussed with my kids this morning, renounce the sins by committing to a new you. 

Our world loves a success story, and you, dear Mighty Strong Girl, have a most lovely story to tell. Don't delay. Bring your sin into the light. Confess and renounce, and get the fresh start that you DESERVE because you are a child of God! 


{leaving it at the foot of the cross}
Amy