Stop listening to your heart!

     Imagine your heart like a pitcher. You know, the kind you make tea or Kool-aid in. 
     Whatever ingredients you put in it, that determines the taste. No matter what you may want to taste or expect to taste, when a glass is put in front of it, what comes out of the pitcher is determined exactly by what you put in it.
     That's exactly what happens when you pour something into your heart. That's exactly why it's SO DANGEROUS to listen to your heart!
     Jeremiah 17:9 says:  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

     When you pour hate in your heart, you will pour out hate on others — or even yourself. When you pour anger, resentment, fear, jealousy, pride, or bitterness on your heart, it will leak out somehow. Even if you try hard not to let it. 

     It makes me think of verses I heard in Sunday school from Genesis 4:6-7: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

     What a scary thought? Sin is crouching at MY door and desires to HAVE me! I MUST master it!! 

     Whatever is causing you to put negative feelings in your heart, that's not from God. That comes from you, rooted in sin that you are responsible for mastering. Nobody else!

     Whether you are dealing with a boyfriend, gossip, bullies, your best friends, your siblings, it's so important that you MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS. Otherwise, they will rule over you. (You can learn more about this in the current issue of Mighty Strong Girls.)

     "But it feels right to be angry," you might say. Especially if it's a social injustice you are fired up about. And that's right, it's OK sometimes to be angry. 

     Before you soak your heart with the emotion, line it up with the one source of TRUTH you have been given from the Lord — His word. It is your guide for all the ingredients God desires for you to pour into your heart, so you can in turn pour it out onto others. 

     God isn't responsible for our hearts. We are. He offers us truth. We can find it in His word. 

     

Day 32: How to give your friends more than they expect!

Today's reading — Proverbs 20

One of the wisest things I ever learned at photography seminars and workshops had nothing to do with how to make a photography technically better. It didn't have to do with Photoshop or even how to order or package deliveries. It had to do with relationships. 

Under-promise and over-deliver. A message that came up over and over again. Give your customers more than they expect!

Is that how our relationships should be, too? 

In today's reading, Proverbs 20:25 says, 

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows. 

Have you ever done this? Made a promise to a friend or a boyfriend? You meant well at the time. It sounded good ... then. But reality set in and you couldn't deliver. 

I try hard to avoid this, but last year in the midst of a busier-than-usual season of life, I desperately wanted to help a friend with something I felt passionate about. She was on a tight deadline, however, that I knew I wouldn't be able to meet. And yet, I promised her I would. Because I wanted to. Even our best intentions cannot overcome the reality of our situations!

How much better would it be for our relationships if we didn't err in this way? If instead of promising anything, I just dove in to help if or when I was able? 

Carefully contemplate your commitments today. You will find when you put Jesus front and center, He will make more things possible for you than you ever thought you could do alone. And all those other things, you will be able to way over-deliver on! 

{seeking improved relationships}
Amy

Day 30: Are you a good friend to 1 or a friend to many?

Today's reading — Proverbs 18
Many of the last blogs have been about practicing discernment with the tongue and in friendships.

Some of the Proverbs can be hard to swallow. Some seem contradictory. Others seem downright ridiculous!

But I want to draw your attention to the very last verse, verse 24.

Have you ever known a friend who seems to crave the attention of EVERYONE? Someone who wants to be friends with absolutely everyone? A popular seeker? Someone with more than 1,000 Facebook friends?

I've had friends like this. Notice the word "had." Because these so-called friends always seem to come and go. That's not by coincidence!

See what the verse says:

A woman of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I was almost relieved to read this! I've had friends who seemed so close, but then in another season, they would disappear like the wind — quietly and mysteriously. It's so nice to know it's not my fault!

One of my best friends in college was like this. It was almost like she was addicted to attention. She would commit to doing things with six different people on a Friday night. She couldn't bear to let down any of her friends. Guess how many real friends she was left with in the end?

Girls, one good friend is worth the affection of 10! And if you are the kind of girl who seems to need everyone's eyes on you, liking you, adoring your every word and dividing up your attention, it's time to ask yourself where your loyalties lie. What are your motives in friendship? Are they true? Or are they taking you on a path of self-destruction?

{embracing authentic friendship}
Amy

Day 28: Is it gossip or isn't it?

Today's reading — Proverbs 16

What do you do when others gossip? I mean really, tell me what you do by commenting below. It might help another girl! 

I hate gossip. But it hasn't always been that way. In fact, it took me a long, long time to recover from this addiction. That's right, gossip can be ADDICTING! 

And exhilerating. Because finding someone who is equally aggrevated by someone's sinful behavior is like winning a scratch-off lottery ticket. Once you start scratching, you just want to keep buying them. We Christians like to call this type of gossip "venting" and dismiss it as healthy. It's like therapy, you know! 

But check out Proverbs 16: 28....

A perverse woman stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. 

My daughter read me an American Girl story on this subject not long ago. One girl in a dance class thinks another has stolen her prized locket. She confronts a mutual friend, who tries to talk her friend into having a discussion rather than accusing the girl. In many instances, she gets sucked into the gossip and doesn't stand up for the girl. Even she is in doubt of the truth with all the lies and gossip swirling around. Eventually the girl has to move to a new school because the one girl doesn't stop making her life miserable. In the end, the girl who was the confidante realizes that she might have picked the wrong girl to befriend when the other girl finds the locket in the bottom of her dance bag. 

Sometimes it's hard to avoid gossip. Other times, it's hard to discern what is and isn't gossip. Is some second-hand information OK to share with a friend you are trying to protect? Perhaps rumors that a boy who professes to be a Christian is really looking to take advantage of girls? If you share that information with a friend is it gossiping? 

I think it's important that no matter when or how we speak, we carefully contemplate our words and question our own motives. Are we looking to stir up dissension? Do we know that's the consequence? How would you feel if you were the person on the other end? 

{praying for discernment}
Amy

Day 26: Act out your anger

Today's reading — Proverbs 14

My morning devotion — delivered daily to my email in-box (you can sign up to have ours sent to your email, too!) was all about anger. Then I opened up Proverbs to our place today, and guess what? 

It seems today's theme is anger. 

So let's chat. What makes you mad? Bullying? Gossips? Peer pressure? Ungodly behavior among your friends? 

Anger....well, I don't necessarily think the emotion of anger is a bad one. It's what you do with it that can cause you to stumble and sin. 

Take a look at how it's discussed in Proverbs 14. 

From verse 16, it's clear that hotheaded and reckless behavior are considered foolish. But the wise fear the Lord and "shun evil."

Later, in verse 22, it says that if you plot evil you will go astray. So it's unwise to use your anger to do "bad things." 

But I believe you can take the anger and use it for good — developing a plan for love and faithfulness, also from verse 22. 

As I write this, it kind of reminds me of Mighty Strong Girls. It's pretty easy to get mad when you think about how girls are portrayed in the media as sexual objects, how they are shoved into a box with all the expectations and stereotypes for our gender, how they are second-class citizens. It's angering to learn about how prevalent female genital mutilation still is in most African nations. It's downright disgusting that many women are pressured to have abortions or even kill their newborn babies — simply because they are girls. 

Most people believe these facts justify a plan for evil against those who would commit such atrocities. But God. He says NO. He says make a plan that is written in love and faithfulness. 

So instead of attacking the enemy, Mighty Strong Girls is attacking the problem by offering a positive alternative. We aren't the only one. There are so many wonderful organizations doing great and awesome things out of love and faithfulness to help girls RISE UP!

My dear girls, you can do this with the anger in your lives, too, no matter the situation. Pray about it. Think about it. Don't be hotheaded and act out your anger with immediate hatred. Instead, take that energy and pour it into something positive. Be the change you want to see! 

{xoxo}
Amy

Day 25: God says pick good friends!

Today's reading — Proverbs 13

If you ever want to dissect what the Bible says about money matters, this would be a good starting point. Much of Proverbs 13 speaks to the heart of finances and wealth and poverty. 

But I'm going to focus today on one verse here that doesn't. Verse 20. 

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. 

Have you ever been frustrated by a parent who doesn't see eye-to-eye with you on the choice of one of your friends? Sometimes parents just have a "sixth sense" when it comes to bad, or even ungodly, influences. Parents just want the best for you. 

Guess what? Are you surprised to find out that God wants the best friends for you, too? Just because you are to love your neighbor doesn't mean you spend the bulk of your time with that person. 

You see, love is not so much an emotion but an act. So while you act in love toward everyone around you and minister to the unreached and the rejects of our world (serving), you walk with the wise. 

Maybe there is some overlap in these groups. Maybe not. 

You see, you become what you are influenced by — and that's why it is SO IMPORTANT not only to be grounded in the word of God but to stay connected with Him in prayer and communication, and to be on your faith walk with those who will help you grow wiser still. 

God doesn't want to see you hurt, and that's why He warns you that if you are friends with fools, harm will come your way. 

It's OK to be discerning in your friendships. God WANTS you to pick your friends. Find those pals who build you up, encourage you, speak honestly to you, challenge your faith as you challenge theirs, pray with you and bring out the best in you. 

When you do, you will be a powerhouse of leadership working toward a common goal in growing closer to God and determining your individual identities in Christ. That's one Mighty Strong Girl! 

{hugs}
Amy

Day 24: Is your tongue a tool for destruction or for hope?

Today's reading — Proverbs 12

Sometimes it feels so confusing when it comes to dealing with mean people or bullies. On the one hand, the Bible tells us to turn the other check and love our neighbor. But many of God's beloved prayed for their Lord to strike down their enemy — and He did. God also tells us to love ourselves, and some people who tear us down consistently are hard to be around because they challenge this very notion. 

What's a girl to do? 

From today's reading, verse 16 states: 

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent woman overlooks an insult. 

Mighty Strong Girls, that's what we call self-control. Practice it early and often. It's a gift, particularly when you join as one in marriage. Sharing a living space, bank account, schedule and children are all instances when it's not all about you. Learning to submit or control our selfish notions is a gift in relationships! 

So, at the heart of this verse is really the best advice my mom ever gave me: ignore them. Just ignore the bullies. It drives them crazy. They act because they are seeking a (your) reaction, and they are jealous. (Eventually they will give up on you if you continue to overlook insults, and in this way, God will strike down your enemy by removing her from your path.)

But please be careful that you are not on the delivering end of insults. Because you know what? Jealousy is not only ugly but it's rooted in fear. Jealousy is NOT from God. It's a sin that causes us to stumble in other ways — seeking approval from man, cursing God's name, plotting against others, coveting our neighbor's possessions. It's a slippery slope. 

Also, look just a couple verses down in verse 18: 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise bring healing. 

Just like the insults hurled at you hurt, so does your negative reaction. Your words can either tear down or build up, so choose them carefully — even as you overlook the words of fools. For, there is JOY for those who promote peace, as promised in verse 20. 

Today, use the tool between your teeth to build up. I love the devotion in my Bible that speaks of three-word groupings: I love you, You look great!, Good for you, I forgive you. Three words that can transform relationships and lives. 

Girls, GET WISDOM! 

{Hugs}
Amy

Day 18: Healing from the sometimes sting of friendships

Today's reading — Proverbs 6

There are many, many themes in this selection and lots of scripture that would make nice Post-it note reminders for you, Mighty Strong Girl!

For instance, the seven things detestable to the Lord could be a good moral compass and reminder to post in your room. From verses 17-19:

        haughty eyes,
        a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
¹⁸         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,
¹⁹         a false witness who pours out lies
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

I also love the visual that comes to mind with verses 20-22: 

My son, keep your father’s command
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
²¹ Bind them always on your heart;
    fasten them around your neck.
²² When you walk, they will guide you;
    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
    when you awake, they will speak to you.

But today I feel compelled to talk about the beginning of this chapter, because I think it's at the heart of relationships — all relationships.

Our tongues can really get us in trouble...a lot.

I have a dear friend who is reading a book called "Safe People," which sounds phenomenal. God is softening her heart, and she sent me an apology text this morning, saying she was sorry for not following through with commitments she's made to me.

Oddly enough, I didn't feel that way about her at all. She's always followed through on every commitment that she said YES to.

But I have had plenty of friends who don't. Friends who speak secrets about other friends behind their backs. Friends who gossip. Friends who have good intentions but over-commit and then hurt the ones they love. One of my best friends when I was in college was like this. I won't lie, it stung. And it makes me overly-cautious about investing in a friendship still, which isn't a good thing! Girls need good BFFs!

Maybe you've felt the sting of someone who has not followed through with a promise, from verse 1, or maybe you are that friend. Have you been trapped by what you've said, ensnared by your own words, as in verse 2?

In the next verse, we are told we need to free ourselves when we become ensnared. Plead our case, humble ourselves and make things right. How many of us get defensive instead or wallow in our own self-pity, making our friendships even more tense and untrue? How useful is this? We need to preserve our relationships with our sisters in Christ and not let these things come between us!

My friend was attempting to do this today, and it made me really think about my own commitments. Am I following through? Doing all I can? If not, who's suffering as a result? And how can I make it right? How can I avoid over-commiting and serve my God in a way that honors Him and makes the best use of His gifts for me?

It was a good reminder that we need to make commitments where our "yes" can be "yes" and our "no" can be "no." And we can feel good about our relationships in the process!

{Hugs}
Amy