Introducing the summer 2014 covergirl!

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I cry aloud to the Lord;
    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint;
    before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
    it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
    people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
    no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
    no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, Lord;
    I say, “You are my refuge,
    my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry,
    for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
    for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
    that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
    because of your goodness to me.

           ~ Psalm 142

     Psalm 142 was written by David while he hid in a cave from people who were chasing after him because they wanted to kill him. What is interesting to me is how relevant it is for girls.

     This prayer – this psalm – is offered today in honor of our cover girl. For her story. For the challenges she faced and overcame.
     Her paths were hidden with snares…girls calling her names, pressuring her to do things she didn’t want to do and be who she wasn’t meant to be.
     She was taken off guard. She felt alone. She thought she could handle anything that came, but when it came, it was harder than she anticipated.
     But she sought God. She prayed, not just for herself but for her tormentors. She knew she couldn’t do it alone. 
     And God was faithful. He set her free from the prison, and she praises His name, even still, as the godly gather around her. She reaches and teaches other girls about the faith that got her through, that rescued her from the cave.
     I first met our cover girl when we had a fashion show over a year ago, and even though she wasn’t very familiar with Mighty Strong Girls, she eagerly grabbed a microphone at the event to share her thoughts on why the ministry is so important for all girls. She got it — the purpose, the vision, the NEED. She is truly an amazing Mighty Strong Girl.
     She is determined. She is intelligent. She is compassionate. She is courageous. She is strong – like really strong physically because she spends hours and hours training for the Olympics. She is Tyler Lackland. 
     CONGRATULATIONS TO THE SUMMER 2014 COVERGIRL, AND TO ALL THE INSPIRING GIRLS WHOSE STORIES, PHOTOS, IDEAS AND CREATIVITY HELPED SHAPED THIS ISSUE OF MIGHTY STRONG GIRLS! 
      The magazine is on sale now at http://www.mightystronggirls.com/the-magazine.html. Print copies are $7, and digital versions are $1.49. If you know a board member, see us for a copy if you don't want to pay for shipping. And if you'd like to buy the magazine in bulk copies for churches or organizations, they are $5 each. Just call us at 217.801.7464 for more information!

Day 32: How to give your friends more than they expect!

Today's reading — Proverbs 20

One of the wisest things I ever learned at photography seminars and workshops had nothing to do with how to make a photography technically better. It didn't have to do with Photoshop or even how to order or package deliveries. It had to do with relationships. 

Under-promise and over-deliver. A message that came up over and over again. Give your customers more than they expect!

Is that how our relationships should be, too? 

In today's reading, Proverbs 20:25 says, 

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows. 

Have you ever done this? Made a promise to a friend or a boyfriend? You meant well at the time. It sounded good ... then. But reality set in and you couldn't deliver. 

I try hard to avoid this, but last year in the midst of a busier-than-usual season of life, I desperately wanted to help a friend with something I felt passionate about. She was on a tight deadline, however, that I knew I wouldn't be able to meet. And yet, I promised her I would. Because I wanted to. Even our best intentions cannot overcome the reality of our situations!

How much better would it be for our relationships if we didn't err in this way? If instead of promising anything, I just dove in to help if or when I was able? 

Carefully contemplate your commitments today. You will find when you put Jesus front and center, He will make more things possible for you than you ever thought you could do alone. And all those other things, you will be able to way over-deliver on! 

{seeking improved relationships}
Amy

Day 30: Are you a good friend to 1 or a friend to many?

Today's reading — Proverbs 18
Many of the last blogs have been about practicing discernment with the tongue and in friendships.

Some of the Proverbs can be hard to swallow. Some seem contradictory. Others seem downright ridiculous!

But I want to draw your attention to the very last verse, verse 24.

Have you ever known a friend who seems to crave the attention of EVERYONE? Someone who wants to be friends with absolutely everyone? A popular seeker? Someone with more than 1,000 Facebook friends?

I've had friends like this. Notice the word "had." Because these so-called friends always seem to come and go. That's not by coincidence!

See what the verse says:

A woman of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I was almost relieved to read this! I've had friends who seemed so close, but then in another season, they would disappear like the wind — quietly and mysteriously. It's so nice to know it's not my fault!

One of my best friends in college was like this. It was almost like she was addicted to attention. She would commit to doing things with six different people on a Friday night. She couldn't bear to let down any of her friends. Guess how many real friends she was left with in the end?

Girls, one good friend is worth the affection of 10! And if you are the kind of girl who seems to need everyone's eyes on you, liking you, adoring your every word and dividing up your attention, it's time to ask yourself where your loyalties lie. What are your motives in friendship? Are they true? Or are they taking you on a path of self-destruction?

{embracing authentic friendship}
Amy

Day 29: Do you offer LOVE to the school gossip?

Today's reading — Proverbs 17

So, the last blog was about gossip. This one picks up right where that one left off. In Proverbs 17, verse 9: 

She who overs over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. 

I'll be honest, I've got a LOW tolerance for gossip. If you share something with me about someone else that SHOULD come from their lips to my ears and not from your lips, I tend to hold it against you. 

I never say anything to you about it, but for darn sure I talk to my husband. And I'll know never to tell you anything of a personal nature about myself. Because now I don't trust you. Even if you had someone's permission, that what they told you was NOT in confidence, I don't feel it's right to discuss other people's problems without them present! Period. 

OK, who's sinning here? 

According to our verse, repeating the matter separates close friends. And I never repeat someone's secrets, so that must make me a good person. Right? 

Hmmmm.... This verse had me thinking that I'm not actually covering over the offense in love. Instead, I get defensive and judgmental, righteous and all holier-than-thou. 

Is it OK not to trust someone who speaks of others' secrets? Probably. God wants us to be discerning about our friendships. But He also asks us to extend the hand of grace and the offer of forgiveness. Just like He did for us!

{seeking more of His grace}
Amy

Day 28: Is it gossip or isn't it?

Today's reading — Proverbs 16

What do you do when others gossip? I mean really, tell me what you do by commenting below. It might help another girl! 

I hate gossip. But it hasn't always been that way. In fact, it took me a long, long time to recover from this addiction. That's right, gossip can be ADDICTING! 

And exhilerating. Because finding someone who is equally aggrevated by someone's sinful behavior is like winning a scratch-off lottery ticket. Once you start scratching, you just want to keep buying them. We Christians like to call this type of gossip "venting" and dismiss it as healthy. It's like therapy, you know! 

But check out Proverbs 16: 28....

A perverse woman stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. 

My daughter read me an American Girl story on this subject not long ago. One girl in a dance class thinks another has stolen her prized locket. She confronts a mutual friend, who tries to talk her friend into having a discussion rather than accusing the girl. In many instances, she gets sucked into the gossip and doesn't stand up for the girl. Even she is in doubt of the truth with all the lies and gossip swirling around. Eventually the girl has to move to a new school because the one girl doesn't stop making her life miserable. In the end, the girl who was the confidante realizes that she might have picked the wrong girl to befriend when the other girl finds the locket in the bottom of her dance bag. 

Sometimes it's hard to avoid gossip. Other times, it's hard to discern what is and isn't gossip. Is some second-hand information OK to share with a friend you are trying to protect? Perhaps rumors that a boy who professes to be a Christian is really looking to take advantage of girls? If you share that information with a friend is it gossiping? 

I think it's important that no matter when or how we speak, we carefully contemplate our words and question our own motives. Are we looking to stir up dissension? Do we know that's the consequence? How would you feel if you were the person on the other end? 

{praying for discernment}
Amy

Day 18: Healing from the sometimes sting of friendships

Today's reading — Proverbs 6

There are many, many themes in this selection and lots of scripture that would make nice Post-it note reminders for you, Mighty Strong Girl!

For instance, the seven things detestable to the Lord could be a good moral compass and reminder to post in your room. From verses 17-19:

        haughty eyes,
        a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
¹⁸         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,
¹⁹         a false witness who pours out lies
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

I also love the visual that comes to mind with verses 20-22: 

My son, keep your father’s command
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
²¹ Bind them always on your heart;
    fasten them around your neck.
²² When you walk, they will guide you;
    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
    when you awake, they will speak to you.

But today I feel compelled to talk about the beginning of this chapter, because I think it's at the heart of relationships — all relationships.

Our tongues can really get us in trouble...a lot.

I have a dear friend who is reading a book called "Safe People," which sounds phenomenal. God is softening her heart, and she sent me an apology text this morning, saying she was sorry for not following through with commitments she's made to me.

Oddly enough, I didn't feel that way about her at all. She's always followed through on every commitment that she said YES to.

But I have had plenty of friends who don't. Friends who speak secrets about other friends behind their backs. Friends who gossip. Friends who have good intentions but over-commit and then hurt the ones they love. One of my best friends when I was in college was like this. I won't lie, it stung. And it makes me overly-cautious about investing in a friendship still, which isn't a good thing! Girls need good BFFs!

Maybe you've felt the sting of someone who has not followed through with a promise, from verse 1, or maybe you are that friend. Have you been trapped by what you've said, ensnared by your own words, as in verse 2?

In the next verse, we are told we need to free ourselves when we become ensnared. Plead our case, humble ourselves and make things right. How many of us get defensive instead or wallow in our own self-pity, making our friendships even more tense and untrue? How useful is this? We need to preserve our relationships with our sisters in Christ and not let these things come between us!

My friend was attempting to do this today, and it made me really think about my own commitments. Am I following through? Doing all I can? If not, who's suffering as a result? And how can I make it right? How can I avoid over-commiting and serve my God in a way that honors Him and makes the best use of His gifts for me?

It was a good reminder that we need to make commitments where our "yes" can be "yes" and our "no" can be "no." And we can feel good about our relationships in the process!

{Hugs}
Amy

Friends: The Perfect Gifts From God

by Meg

Living a godly life is not easy in today's world, though I probably donʼt have to tell you that. 

Currently, I work at a Subway in Eagle River, Alaska (weʼre ranked top in the state, you should stop by sometime), and Iʼm surrounded by hundreds of different, diverse people every day.

 

When I lived in Athens, I could walk into the Dollar General and say "hi" to four different people I knew. Especially one of my best friends, who strangely always seemed to be there when I was. Anyway, my point is that the world is full of people and not all of them are Christians. 

Choosing your friends after a transition is vital to your walk with God. You have to choose people who can help you along with your faith, not hinder it. I havenʼt yet been able to find any Christian friends, and I can safely say my walk has become slow and hard because of this.

 

Change weakens a person. When I moved to Athens I was so desperate for friends I reached out to everyone hoping to find my place. Thankfully, God sent the right people to me: good, Christian girls who would influence me in a positive way. 

Here in Alaska the struggle has been harder, but I know God will send someone if Iʼm patient; and wherever you are, He will send friends to you, too. Itʼs not just a comforting thought, itʼs absolutely true.

 

Iʼm going to be completely honest and say that this is something Iʼm still struggling with. Itʼs lonely without friends, and sometimes Skype doesnʼt cut it. I know if youʼre in this situation you know what Iʼm talking about. I came to Alaska with the bitter view that I didnʼt want new friends. My old friends in Illinois were fine. And people, this will make you very, very angry inside.

 

At first itʼs easy. You start school (Iʼm homeschooled), you get a job, you meet some nice people (not necessarily your friends), you settle in, youʼre actually starting to smile at life again. Then a month or two goes by and your old friends (who youʼve been conversing with at length so far) start their school and you see on Facebook theyʼve been hanging out. Jealousy creeps in, but thereʼs nothing you can do about it. You want to hang out with friends, but only those friends. Not new ones.

 

The hole deepens when you realize that the rest of your family is meeting people and making friends. Personally, to combat this chasm, I got a dog. Her name is Zeva, and sheʼs a cutie! Sheʼs smart, fun, and happy...but she canʼt talk. She canʼt go grab ice cream. She can have a sleepover, but she keeps licking me and chewing on my shoes.

 

What Iʼm trying to say is you have to get out there. GO to youth group at church. If you donʼt like your youth group, find another one. If youʼre homeschooled, FIND that homeschool home group. Theyʼre really out there. If you go to school, JOIN that club that looks interesting. And above all, BE YOURSELF. 

God made you perfect just the way you are, and Heʼll send friends who think that about you. The journey into the hole of no-friend-ness (yeah I couldnʼt think of a better name) is dark and lonely. You have to climb out.